I'm currently listening to Irish Folk music. That makes me smile.
I got to spend the day with my bestest friend in the world. That makes me grateful.
My new school is beyond anything I could ask for, and everyone there loves Twenty One Pilots. That makes me feel blessed.
Fall is on its way. That makes me excited, and confused, because I'm not typically excited for fall.
Jesus loves me, like a whole lot. That makes me feel more love than I could possibly stress.
Hm, stress...stress hasn't gotten to me in a while. That makes me feel in control.
I watched Mean Girls last night. That makes me feel lighthearted.
I have so many options for mission trips this year. That makes me feel adventurous.
The sun is setting outside my window. That makes me feel like I live in an art piece.
I drained a cup of hot tea earlier. That makes me feel classy.
You have one short, precious, life. Feel something in everything.
Monday, September 7, 2015
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
it's here, summer that is
as i sit on my floor (crisscross applesauce style, mind you) with a chlorine soaked bun atop my head from the pool resting in my backyard and in the comfort of my dads batman tshirt i want to stress to you as much as possible why summer is my most loved season.
summer is when my hair gets curly and my cheeks pink like roses. by 9:00am its already 100 degrees and it remains like that until the afternoon clouds of thunder come to chase it away. it's the time to jump in the pool fully clothed and lay in bed for hours watching netflix. it is the season that you can finally read that pile a mile high of books you've been collecting since february. it's when the sun gives me tan-lines around the bracelets on my right wrist. with no stress of studying for that algebra test the next morning i can sit and write letters at my yellow desk until 2am if i so please. my toes can be painted any bright color i wish. i leave my suitcases and clothes splashed all over my room because it's only a matter of days until my family and i pile back into that motorhome for another three weeks of old southern back roads and new friends.
i hope that your summer (whoever you may be) is loved, cherished, and full of adventures.
summer is when my hair gets curly and my cheeks pink like roses. by 9:00am its already 100 degrees and it remains like that until the afternoon clouds of thunder come to chase it away. it's the time to jump in the pool fully clothed and lay in bed for hours watching netflix. it is the season that you can finally read that pile a mile high of books you've been collecting since february. it's when the sun gives me tan-lines around the bracelets on my right wrist. with no stress of studying for that algebra test the next morning i can sit and write letters at my yellow desk until 2am if i so please. my toes can be painted any bright color i wish. i leave my suitcases and clothes splashed all over my room because it's only a matter of days until my family and i pile back into that motorhome for another three weeks of old southern back roads and new friends.
i hope that your summer (whoever you may be) is loved, cherished, and full of adventures.
Monday, April 6, 2015
missing mississippi
The warm breeze whispers hello as it rushes by us, sending the abundance of lake soaked hair flying behind us. Bare and tan our legs hang from the old splintery dock. The sun kissed faces of my friends break into laughter while we patiently await the cool night air to rescue us from the wrath of the blazing sun. Slowly, the sunshine fades away and the moon makes its solo appearance; reflecting brightly in the water like a mirror. Freedom and fireflies surround us as we dance and sing under the Mississippi stars. I breathe in, taking in the wild crazyness that is summer.
Every summer I spend weeks in a Mississippi pine-forest, 30 minutes from anything.
And every summer I fall in love all over again. I enjoy the scent of pine that fills my lungs while I run around the lake. I adore the way the blue-raspberry snowcones turn my tongue fun colors. Cold morning mist sets on the dining hall windows and my soul smiles as I traces my name through the dew.
I am so ready for Summer. I am ready for 112 degree weather and hilarious tan lines. I am ready for old dirt roads and perfect blue skies, only rays of yellow sun messing them up. I am ready for windblown lake hair and cups of ice-cream. I need nights full of stars and pages full of bible verses, giant t-shirts and hard summer feet. I am in love with random reststop picnics and unknown BBQ restaurants. I need worn out backpacks and pink cheeks. None made up faces and fluffy beach towels. I want the smell of french fries shaped like smiley faces and the feeling of gross cabin floors. I want my hair in a french braid hanging down the back of my favorite tank top. I wish for worship and fellowship in ENO hammocks drifting in the lake breeze.
I am in love with a season, a short time that only lasts a small while. I am in love with sourless moments, a peaceful lifestyle. Maybe I am in love with everything different, everything that only comes once a year.
I am, most defiantly, in love with the absence of what my life is now. Today.
Every summer I spend weeks in a Mississippi pine-forest, 30 minutes from anything.
And every summer I fall in love all over again. I enjoy the scent of pine that fills my lungs while I run around the lake. I adore the way the blue-raspberry snowcones turn my tongue fun colors. Cold morning mist sets on the dining hall windows and my soul smiles as I traces my name through the dew.
I am so ready for Summer. I am ready for 112 degree weather and hilarious tan lines. I am ready for old dirt roads and perfect blue skies, only rays of yellow sun messing them up. I am ready for windblown lake hair and cups of ice-cream. I need nights full of stars and pages full of bible verses, giant t-shirts and hard summer feet. I am in love with random reststop picnics and unknown BBQ restaurants. I need worn out backpacks and pink cheeks. None made up faces and fluffy beach towels. I want the smell of french fries shaped like smiley faces and the feeling of gross cabin floors. I want my hair in a french braid hanging down the back of my favorite tank top. I wish for worship and fellowship in ENO hammocks drifting in the lake breeze.
I am in love with a season, a short time that only lasts a small while. I am in love with sourless moments, a peaceful lifestyle. Maybe I am in love with everything different, everything that only comes once a year.
I am, most defiantly, in love with the absence of what my life is now. Today.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
fearless
most people don't enjoy admitting their fears straight up. if you were to ask someone "what are you afraid of?" they would probably shrug it off with something small. but to me, fear is not something you should be scared of, i think it is important to know the fears of others. to understand where they come from and how to help them...or even just how to understand them. a lot of people are afraid of being afraid, isn't that funny? i think so.
I was thinking, and if we're going to be friends (or if you're going to read my blog) then i am going to be honest about everything. not just what i love and where i want to go, but also what i am so scared of.
1) i fear my future. part of me just wants to stay 13 forever, even though it mostly sucks, it has got to be better than dealing with high school next year, or collage in four years, or where i want to go to collage, if i want to be a mom, where i am going to live, what my job will be. all that crap scares me so much i try not to think about it...but that never really works, because it's coming at full speed and i am going to have to be ready.
2) i am very thoroughly frightened of failure, letting people down. of not making them go "woah abigail, good job!" all the time. i cannot stand it if my homework is a late or if i forgot to bring something i was supposed to or if i am late to an event..it just all frightens me. i don't want to be a failure in anything, in life..which is pretty bad because it causes me to quit a lot of stuff before you can fail, or succeed. this one is probably my biggest. because you can fail at so many things.
3) saying the wrong thing. i guess that's why i'm so quiet, i can't say the wrong thing if i don't say anything at all...right?
4)being annoying. yup, here we go. self-conscious teenage girl time. i like to think that i am not SUPER self-conscious about everything..but annoying people is one of them. i don't like to text people first or ask too many questions..which is a struggle when you're as curious as george. so many things i want to know, but my fear of being annoying overpowers the question on the tip of my tongue. i guess this plays into saying the wrong thing. i have so much to say and share but so much more fear.
5)spiders....just like ew. i can't even...talk about freaky.
6)hurting peoples feelings, i can't handle people being mad at me or knowing that i have hurt them in anyway.
7)staying put. it scares me to think that i'll have to live here in this one horse central florida town until i go off to collage, wherever that might be. it scares me to think i might have to settle down someday with a husband and kids to take care of. chaining me to one place.
8)being wrong. i don't like to argue, or answer questions i'm not positive about. because that feeling in my stomach when i'm wrong hurts far too much.
9)running out of time. running out of time to get ready. running out of time to get somewhere. running out of time on earth. with all the books there are to read, all the people to love, secrets to tell, and places to go i will most surely not have enough time.
"i believe that being fearless is not the absence of fear, but it is feeling the fear and doing it anyway."-Taylor Swift
I was thinking, and if we're going to be friends (or if you're going to read my blog) then i am going to be honest about everything. not just what i love and where i want to go, but also what i am so scared of.
1) i fear my future. part of me just wants to stay 13 forever, even though it mostly sucks, it has got to be better than dealing with high school next year, or collage in four years, or where i want to go to collage, if i want to be a mom, where i am going to live, what my job will be. all that crap scares me so much i try not to think about it...but that never really works, because it's coming at full speed and i am going to have to be ready.
2) i am very thoroughly frightened of failure, letting people down. of not making them go "woah abigail, good job!" all the time. i cannot stand it if my homework is a late or if i forgot to bring something i was supposed to or if i am late to an event..it just all frightens me. i don't want to be a failure in anything, in life..which is pretty bad because it causes me to quit a lot of stuff before you can fail, or succeed. this one is probably my biggest. because you can fail at so many things.
3) saying the wrong thing. i guess that's why i'm so quiet, i can't say the wrong thing if i don't say anything at all...right?
4)being annoying. yup, here we go. self-conscious teenage girl time. i like to think that i am not SUPER self-conscious about everything..but annoying people is one of them. i don't like to text people first or ask too many questions..which is a struggle when you're as curious as george. so many things i want to know, but my fear of being annoying overpowers the question on the tip of my tongue. i guess this plays into saying the wrong thing. i have so much to say and share but so much more fear.
5)spiders....just like ew. i can't even...talk about freaky.
6)hurting peoples feelings, i can't handle people being mad at me or knowing that i have hurt them in anyway.
7)staying put. it scares me to think that i'll have to live here in this one horse central florida town until i go off to collage, wherever that might be. it scares me to think i might have to settle down someday with a husband and kids to take care of. chaining me to one place.
8)being wrong. i don't like to argue, or answer questions i'm not positive about. because that feeling in my stomach when i'm wrong hurts far too much.
9)running out of time. running out of time to get ready. running out of time to get somewhere. running out of time on earth. with all the books there are to read, all the people to love, secrets to tell, and places to go i will most surely not have enough time.
"i believe that being fearless is not the absence of fear, but it is feeling the fear and doing it anyway."-Taylor Swift
Thursday, March 26, 2015
feelings
you tell me to look at you and answer the question.
i cant
i can not look at you
because if i look i’ll see those eyes
those deep forest eyes
the ones i always always get lost in
and if i get lost i’ll forget i don’t want to talk to you
and if i convince myself i want to talk to you i’ll tell you the truth
but the truth i cant tell you, because i don’t like the truth
so you face me, saying to look at you, your hand on my wrist
so i do
i look at you
i take a breath
i look at you, at your lips, and i lie
i lie lie lie
i lie to you and say i’m fine
i’m. not. fine.
i cant
i can not look at you
because if i look i’ll see those eyes
those deep forest eyes
the ones i always always get lost in
and if i get lost i’ll forget i don’t want to talk to you
and if i convince myself i want to talk to you i’ll tell you the truth
but the truth i cant tell you, because i don’t like the truth
so you face me, saying to look at you, your hand on my wrist
so i do
i look at you
i take a breath
i look at you, at your lips, and i lie
i lie lie lie
i lie to you and say i’m fine
i’m. not. fine.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
oh, the places I'll go
wanderlust(n). the never-ending passion to see the world on a magic carpet.
...Ok, maybe I sorta made that up. But that's pretty much what it means, and I most surely do suffer from it.
The other day my English teacher told me I reminded her of a butterfly, because I'm so quiet on the outside, but constantly speaking on the inside. Because I have quite a lot of trouble with sitting still (actual ADD going on right now) and staying in one place. She said it was because the daydream look in my eye matches that of a butterfly's wings and because I have such a passion for new places I can't help but flutter around. Needing something new and adventurous all the time.
So since my 'spirit animal' is apparently a fluttering butterfly, I would like to share my dream places to see to your gorgeous face.
1) Ireland. YES, I know! I've said it already but I don't feel like I can say it enough. Every. Single. Person. Has a place that speaks to their soul, maybe it's a house, maybe a coffee shop, an office, a park, a city, or a country like mine. But Ireland speaks to my soul and I could not tell you why if I spoke for hours. But I plan on going and backpacking across old castles and staying in hostles, spending my evenings and late nights in pubs with live music and wonderful dancing. I plan to stay as long as I want and never have a plan when I go to bed the night before. All that will be on my mind is: I've made it.
2) London. You might've just rolled your eyes and huffed: "typical" and your screen. Or maybe you just totally agreed as you're planning to roam those streets as well, like me. It does not matter what your first thought was, because London is totally great always and the haters gonna hate. I mean listen, Kings Cross Station, 221B Bakers Street, TARDIS. It's all nerdy and it's all London. So your argument is invalid and I'm going to live in a flat in London with a big dog, okay? Good. (I also plan to take a train across England.)
3)Paris. Typical again I know. But it's PARIS! Such beauty, such class, such poetry in a city. Actually I would love to venture across all of France, but Paris is the number on stop there. THE TOWER I CANNOT I LOVE THE TOWER.
4)India. I do not have a certain place in India I want to go...probably just some village/city with lots of colors and elephants (I love elephants).
5) Spain. I don't have much of a plan for this country either, and nor do I really want one. I don't totally believe in being a tourist. I live 30 minutes from Orlando, tourists pretty much always annoy me. So I hate to do that to people. I just plan on wondering around and finding the hidden gem, not the shiny diamond that people come from all over to see. Some of those I would like to see, but I could care less about the majority of them.
6)Caribbean. PARADISE. I adore island life and I could not think of a better place to live it. Who knows, I might even find Captain Jack Sparrow and fall in love.
7) Africa. I plan on going for two reasons. One for a mission trip in tough villages and to love on the children sharing Jesus. And the second is to drive in a safari car across the Horn of Africa just for fun, *yay*.
9) Scotland. Because I want to go to a Scottish Festival and wear a Kilt.
10) Germany, pretty much for the chocolate and cool voices.
11) Philippines. Because they're beautiful and I just can't words how much I feel called there as well.
12)Italy...ah, the warmness I get in my soul when I picture myself backpacking across Italy is oh so lovely.
There are so many more places I want to go I could continue this for hours but I better stop. Honestly...I would go anywhere (well I'm not too into China, it scares me) but other than that I'm down for adventures anywhere. So if you ever end up with an extra plane ticket and don't know who to take with you, let me know.
...Ok, maybe I sorta made that up. But that's pretty much what it means, and I most surely do suffer from it.
The other day my English teacher told me I reminded her of a butterfly, because I'm so quiet on the outside, but constantly speaking on the inside. Because I have quite a lot of trouble with sitting still (actual ADD going on right now) and staying in one place. She said it was because the daydream look in my eye matches that of a butterfly's wings and because I have such a passion for new places I can't help but flutter around. Needing something new and adventurous all the time.
So since my 'spirit animal' is apparently a fluttering butterfly, I would like to share my dream places to see to your gorgeous face.
1) Ireland. YES, I know! I've said it already but I don't feel like I can say it enough. Every. Single. Person. Has a place that speaks to their soul, maybe it's a house, maybe a coffee shop, an office, a park, a city, or a country like mine. But Ireland speaks to my soul and I could not tell you why if I spoke for hours. But I plan on going and backpacking across old castles and staying in hostles, spending my evenings and late nights in pubs with live music and wonderful dancing. I plan to stay as long as I want and never have a plan when I go to bed the night before. All that will be on my mind is: I've made it.
2) London. You might've just rolled your eyes and huffed: "typical" and your screen. Or maybe you just totally agreed as you're planning to roam those streets as well, like me. It does not matter what your first thought was, because London is totally great always and the haters gonna hate. I mean listen, Kings Cross Station, 221B Bakers Street, TARDIS. It's all nerdy and it's all London. So your argument is invalid and I'm going to live in a flat in London with a big dog, okay? Good. (I also plan to take a train across England.)
3)Paris. Typical again I know. But it's PARIS! Such beauty, such class, such poetry in a city. Actually I would love to venture across all of France, but Paris is the number on stop there. THE TOWER I CANNOT I LOVE THE TOWER.
4)India. I do not have a certain place in India I want to go...probably just some village/city with lots of colors and elephants (I love elephants).
5) Spain. I don't have much of a plan for this country either, and nor do I really want one. I don't totally believe in being a tourist. I live 30 minutes from Orlando, tourists pretty much always annoy me. So I hate to do that to people. I just plan on wondering around and finding the hidden gem, not the shiny diamond that people come from all over to see. Some of those I would like to see, but I could care less about the majority of them.
6)Caribbean. PARADISE. I adore island life and I could not think of a better place to live it. Who knows, I might even find Captain Jack Sparrow and fall in love.
7) Africa. I plan on going for two reasons. One for a mission trip in tough villages and to love on the children sharing Jesus. And the second is to drive in a safari car across the Horn of Africa just for fun, *yay*.
9) Scotland. Because I want to go to a Scottish Festival and wear a Kilt.
10) Germany, pretty much for the chocolate and cool voices.
11) Philippines. Because they're beautiful and I just can't words how much I feel called there as well.
12)Italy...ah, the warmness I get in my soul when I picture myself backpacking across Italy is oh so lovely.
There are so many more places I want to go I could continue this for hours but I better stop. Honestly...I would go anywhere (well I'm not too into China, it scares me) but other than that I'm down for adventures anywhere. So if you ever end up with an extra plane ticket and don't know who to take with you, let me know.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
beautiful words
Thursdays are for dim lights, hot tea, and beautiful words. So, as a
tribute to Thursday, I'll sit here in the dim light with warm tea in
hand and share with you some of my favorite beautiful words.
1. "He wanted to say I love you, but keeps it to goodnight. Because love will mean falling, and she's afraid of heights." I mean like...how does it not give you feels? Doesn't your soul just go awh! ? Mine does. I just love it, very much.
2. "I think, if he was a book..he'd be the one you throw across the room, then hours later, pick up and leaf through its pages." We all have that one person that toys and plays with our hearts, but we can't stay away. We have to keep going, to finish the book. Leaf through them once more.
3. Masks, by Shel Silverstein- "She had blue skin, and so did he. He kept it hid, and so did she. They searched for blue their whole life through, then passed right by and never knew" This applies to the world as it is now. People keeping their real self hidden from people, scared of judgement and being different. But they'll never meet anyone right for their self if they don't act like themselves.
4. "People are prettiest when they talk about something they love with passion in their eyes."-k.v.h We all know somebody who you just love to watch talk, and rant, or do what they love. Because it's refreshing to see someone show passion for something they truly love. And it's gorgeous to observe.
5. "It is happiness to wonder, it is happiness to dream."- Edgar Allan Poe. I am a big fan of Mr. Poe, and this might be one of my favorites quotes from him. Probably just because it is so refreshing, usually he is so deep and intense you can't read too much by him at once (or at least I can't). So it is nice to see him say something light, beautiful and true as this. We've all had those nights where we wake up from a perfect dream and spend forever trying to get back to it.
6. "I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream." -Vincent Van Gogh. I mean come on how perfectly mad this artist was. I love it, I love him. Just so much love for this.
7. "I'm restless. Things are calling me away. My hair is being pulled by the stars again."-Anais Nin. My life. This is my life. I could not even try to guess how many times I've felt a longing in m soul that I can't explain any better than this. The stars are calling me away.
1. "He wanted to say I love you, but keeps it to goodnight. Because love will mean falling, and she's afraid of heights." I mean like...how does it not give you feels? Doesn't your soul just go awh! ? Mine does. I just love it, very much.
2. "I think, if he was a book..he'd be the one you throw across the room, then hours later, pick up and leaf through its pages." We all have that one person that toys and plays with our hearts, but we can't stay away. We have to keep going, to finish the book. Leaf through them once more.
3. Masks, by Shel Silverstein- "She had blue skin, and so did he. He kept it hid, and so did she. They searched for blue their whole life through, then passed right by and never knew" This applies to the world as it is now. People keeping their real self hidden from people, scared of judgement and being different. But they'll never meet anyone right for their self if they don't act like themselves.
4. "People are prettiest when they talk about something they love with passion in their eyes."-k.v.h We all know somebody who you just love to watch talk, and rant, or do what they love. Because it's refreshing to see someone show passion for something they truly love. And it's gorgeous to observe.
5. "It is happiness to wonder, it is happiness to dream."- Edgar Allan Poe. I am a big fan of Mr. Poe, and this might be one of my favorites quotes from him. Probably just because it is so refreshing, usually he is so deep and intense you can't read too much by him at once (or at least I can't). So it is nice to see him say something light, beautiful and true as this. We've all had those nights where we wake up from a perfect dream and spend forever trying to get back to it.
6. "I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream." -Vincent Van Gogh. I mean come on how perfectly mad this artist was. I love it, I love him. Just so much love for this.
7. "I'm restless. Things are calling me away. My hair is being pulled by the stars again."-Anais Nin. My life. This is my life. I could not even try to guess how many times I've felt a longing in m soul that I can't explain any better than this. The stars are calling me away.
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